"Start and finish reading a book in one day, then bake a cake; to heaven with you!"
One for Joy - (A comprehensive list of superstitions and adages.)
"You are still angry," L told me. "This is not healthy, you need to forgive. Not for for them, but for you. You should perform a ritual. A ritual of forgiveness. I promise it will work."
I did three. One for them. One for me. And one for joy.
It worked. It is working.
The more complex the personal symbology of the ritual, the more effective it will be on the mind. A sincere act performed in any way must be, in and of itself, valuable.
An act uncluttered by guesswork or faith in blind chance.
An act undertaken to reach a position of balance and a real reduction of inner conflict.
My last completed painting I put together in as conscious a way as I have ever worked.
The allegorical aspects and emotional ties to the images on the painting were selected methodically.
The initial 'sketches' stage flowed easily and freely.
To be connected to each symbol in a painting or in a novel shows foresight and hope.
To be disconnected and to work by instinct alone is to enjoy the moment for what it is.
Both methods are necessary acts in the work of an artist.
I am currently drawn to the first method.
Studying the Tarot has lead me to search for meaning in my choices as oppose to simply letting them manifest without question. Lead me to act like a 'grown up' you could say.
Take my latest painting compared with one from 10 years ago as an example.
The first image here displays vivaciousness and chaos. It appears disordered and confusing. This happened to be exactly what I was aiming for. But to what end? I felt that if it came from me spontaneously, it must mean something, right? I am after all a human being doing! If there is any meaning to life then it must be somewhere in there whether I like it or not. Or else what is the point?
The second image here (my latest painting) displays the same attitude I believe but one in which the viewer can more readily participate.
When David Lynch began to make surrealist art accessible to the masses through film and television, I was not one to say that he was a sell out. I was instead extremely excited. Still am.
If there is one thing I have learnt over the years it is that I am better with people than without. I like sharing.
Though I love my down time; leave me alone for three days and I start doing rituals, making shrines and baking cakes.
I think the second painting communicates my intentions much better than the first. This does not make it better, it simply reflects the fact that recently I am in the mood for being understood.
As I read Tarot cards to friends and querents I put myself in the position of translator. I get such a thrill when a simple detail explained can make the person being read to gasp with recognition, and relate a card to their own situation.
I am hungry for more of this.
Then there is speaking to oneself. Translating me to me.
This happens in the free thinking course of the development of any painting or book but also in how I choose to dress, speak or even decorate my living space.
As I scatter things around my rooms I begin to notice that some things make me happier than others.
I was very sensitive to this just the other day and began to gather some of my happy objects together on top of one cupboard.
I love this.
I love you.
I love me.
I love cake.
One more afternoon of down time and then I promise I'll WhatsApp you... ;-)
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